To USB or Not to USB

 

USB and Health and Diagnostics and Thanksgiving

Transitioning from Autonomous Automobiles = Increased Happiness, we move to USB = better health.

Every wearables charger  for every FitBit and Garmin and smart watch uses USB, since it’s the universal standard.

The next (obvious) step is to use USB for diagnosis.  The power of the PC combined with the flexibility of USB means you can plug in anything, and probe or tester into a PC, make that probe cheap and use the tremendous computing power of the PC to do the rest of the work.

 

Last week, we got the USB stick that can diagnose HIV. http://www.theverge.com/2016/11/11/13598444/hiv-blood-test-usb-imperial-college-london-health

Amazingly, it can read a blood sample in less than 30 minutes and diagnose HIV with a 95% accuracy.     Amazing because even 10 years ago, or 5 years ago, it would take weeks and days to get a result.

During my time in grad school, Western Blots (after PCR) it would easily take days and weeks to make something like this work with millions of dollars worth of equipment. It was messy too.

 

In this case, the USB stick doesn’t actually do that.

 

If you read the original paper here: http://www.nature.com/articles/srep36000

You will learn it is actually only measuring the pH level. (which I could do in middle school Earth Science with Mr. Johnson).  Still it’s cool and could be used in applications like fast screening for blood donors.  If they aren’t sure, then take a blood test, wait 20 minutes, and determine if they need to

 

In my world, I would love to have something that would test for food safety, say to prevent food poisoning from a Thanksgiving turkey.

 

Happy Thanksgiving.

 

These Thanksgiving Jokes are from the American publication Boys Life. This way, the jokes are safe for work.  If you have any not safe for work thanksgiving jokes, post them in the comments below.  We won’t let others see them, but Mick and I will enjoy them.

 

Josh: Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day?

Phil: Why?

Josh: He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.

 

Biff: Why did the turkey cross the road?

Bob: I don’t know.

Biff: It was Thanksgiving Day, and he wanted people to think he was a chicken!

 

Charles: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?

Mary: I haven’t a clue.

Charles: Peach gobbler!

 

 

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”

“No, ma’am. They’re dead.”

 

 

Danny: Why did the cranberries turn red?

Jake: Beats me.

Danny: Because they saw the turkey dressing!

 

 

Billy: Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down?

Joe: Beats me.

Billy: Because they wear their belt buckles on their hats!

 

Luke: What did the turkey say to the computer?

Will: What?

Luke: “Google, google, google.”

 

Josh: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?

David: Tell me.

Josh: Drumsticks for everyone on Thanksgiving Day!

 

A man buys a parrot, only to have it constantly insult him. He tries everything to make the parrot stop, but nothing works. Frustrated, the man puts the parrot in the freezer. After a few minutes the insults stop. The man thinks he might have killed the parrot, so he opens the freezer and takes the parrot out. The parrot is shivering. It stammers, “S-s-sorry for being r-r-rude. Please f-f-forgive me.” Then, after a moment, the parrot softly asks, “W-w-what exactly d-d-did the turkey do?”

 

Pedro: What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?

Ordep: What?

Pedro: “Quack! Quack!”

 

Caleb: What key has legs and can’t open doors?

Caitlyn: What?

Caleb: A turkey.

 

Alex: Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey?

Adam: Why?

Alex: He sensed fowl play.

 

Robert: Which bird is best at bowling?

Chrystal: I don’t know.

Robert: A turkey.

 

Leighton: What sound does a limping turkey make?

Zach: I give up!

Leighton: “Wobble, wobble!”

 

Chas: What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to at the first Thanksgiving feast?

Tom: What kind?

Chas: Plymouth Rock!

 

Sister: Mom wants your to help us fix Thanksgiving Day dinner.

Brother: Why? Is it broken?

 

Pat: What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?

Jerry: I don’t know. What?

Pat: A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.

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